Should I be Jealous of my Partner’s Surfboard?
Photo credit: Lucas Meneses
“What if I told you that I was jealous of my boyfriend’s surfboard? He calls it pretty and sexy, and I swear he looks at it in a way that he has never looked at me. When he first got it, he actually wanted to sleep with it! While I sit on the beach watching him, he gently caresses his board, tucked under his arm, and proudly shows it off to other surfers. But what’s worse is the way he straddles it while waiting for a wave in the line-up, and the cheeky grin he has when he lies on it and paddles in to catch a wave. It makes me want to vomit. I honestly don’t know if I can ever make him as happy as his surfboard.”
Photo credit: Bodie Rapson
Surfing is an obsession. It’s not like other hobbies that take up time and are enjoyed, no. Surfing is a lifestyle. Once you are hooked, you spend most of your time wondering when the next swell will be coming in, which board you should take, and if you are (tragically) living in a place where there is no surf, you’re planning your next surf holiday. There is no other holiday but a surf holiday. There is nothing else. There is surfing.
Understandably, this is something that non-surfers struggle to wrap their heads around. How can one activity take up so much of a person’s time and energy? Surely, it’s not a big deal if the next holiday was based around a wine tasting or mountain excursion, instead of yet another surf holiday, right? Right?
WRONG.
As someone who has only recently been consumed by the surfing lifestyle, I can sympathize with non-surfers dating surfers. How could they possibly understand the thrill and adrenaline rush you get when you catch that big, beautiful wave, and rush down the line carving into the green wall or the thrill of hitting the lip? How could they possibly understand if they have never experienced that feeling?
So, if you are jealous of your partner’s surfboard, I get it. Think about how many partners are forced to take a back seat (literally) to make room for the surfboard.
One thing I realized shortly after becoming a surfer, is that I’ll never be able to date a non-surfer again. It’s a dealbreaker. They must be a surfer, or at least willing to learn. If my partner can’t understand the feeling that surfing gives me, then they don’t understand me.
Only a surfer knows the feeling, and we chase it relentlessly.
Surfing is like a cult, and most surfers are avid recruiters. If you haven’t tried it, we won’t shut up about it until you do. When you do, we will constantly be providing you with unsolicited advice on what you should do to improve your surfing. This goes for both strangers on a beach, your friends, and your partner (which, of course, goes completely against the modern-day adage of ‘never try to teach your partner anything.’)
If you’ve gotten this far and are wondering, “Is my relationship doomed to fail because my partner is a surfer, and I am not?” While I don’t pretend to be an expert on relationships, this question I can answer with certainty. Yeah, pretty much.
If you’re not a surfer and insist on dating a surfer, my advice to you is: spend some money on lessons and get good, quick. With any luck, you and your partner could become a surf power couple like Jamie O’Brien and Tina Cohen.
That is not to say that there aren’t benefits to having a partner who is not a surfer. At least if your partner is not a surfer, you’ll never have to worry about them dropping in on your wave, or asking to borrow your surfboard, or using up all your wax, or stealing your new leash. God forbid two surfers have a baby and need to decide who will stay on the beach babysitting when there are waves to be surfed. If one partner was not a surfer, then there would be no need for the tense negotiation upon arrival at the beach. Who will go out first? For how long? What if the waves get better? Or worse? One can only imagine how painful tag-teaming could be.
Even still, if I had to choose, I would rather my partner be a surfer than not. There are usually ways around conflicts between surfers, but since only a surfer knows the feeling, conflicts revolving around a lack of understanding between a surfer and a non-surfer are too great to overcome.
Photo credit: Clayton Surfboards
So be jealous of your partner’s surfboard. A surfer never forgets their first surfboard in the same way they never forget their first love. But while partners come and go, the surfboard will always stay. The big difference is that surfers are likely to have more than one surfboard, whereas they may be pickier about their partners. If you remain understanding and supportive, and maybe throw in a new surfboard for Christmas now and then, your surfer partner will value you only slightly more than their surfboards.
Are you a beginner surfer looking to level up? Check out the Jamie O’Brien Surf App here for anytime, anywhere surf coaching.
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